My Family Tree is a Set of Conjoined Trees....A New Picture on Life

I imagine my life more like this picture now. Did you know that out in nature trees can conjoin and still grow, while growing together? It's an amazing world we live in! What's even more amazing is how my life is just like one of these types of trees.

In December, after knowing I was adopted my entire life, I took the biggest leap of faith and decided to find my birth mother. Due to the Internet, well Facebook to be exact I located her within 15 minutes of receiving my original birth certificate from the state of Illinois. I opened myself to a type of vulnerability I had never experienced. At that time I wasn't sure of what the outcome would really be and to be honest I still don't really know what will happen, but it has altered my life in ways I could never fully express. Now I would like to consider myself to be part Jewish, German, Italian, and Polish... I am made up of four families! My family tree looks more like one of these conjoined trees than an average one... If I signed up on ancestry.com I don't know if they really could build a family tree that would truly express all that I am!

This is my birth parents getting ready to go to my birth mom's Prom!

This is one side of my conjoined trees...

Here I am with my family. My other side of my trees.












I feel truly blessed over the average child. I've had 4 parents who have loved me... well maybe 4, but 3 for sure. Sadly my birth father passed away a few years back and I may never know how he truly felt, but it took 4 adults to raise me! No, I wasn't that bad! Ha, ha. But I had double the love that other children have. To now be 30 and feel like I might be starting to get my life together, I can't help but thank God for making my life the way He did. I don't think I could have said that 10 years ago.

I have moments where I thank God for giving me two moms. One had the heart to want better and the other the heart to raise me, good days and bad. I find that I am similar to both in different ways. Yvonne, my birth mom and I pin similar things and have the same exact sewing machine... that we got around the same time, before we met one another... And my mom, Marilou and I are almost one in the same, well except for the crafty bits! If it wasn't for my mom's loving kindness, I may never have had the courage to find Yvonne.

I am proud to say I have 2 strong mothers. That because of their love I am the mother I am today. I am so proud of both of them... With Mother's Day only a few days away I thank God for both of them! God knew what kind of person I would be and realized it would take two women with the same big heart to raise me. And I would have the joy of sharing my life with both of them now. I still don't know exactly what lies ahead of me in the journey, but now I am more open to the vulnerability of not knowing what lies ahead. Now I can just bask in the rays of His glory and enjoy the ride...

I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day! I know I will!

Thank you for continuing to take this ride with me! Until next time...

Enjoy!

Craftster Crush?! Who Me?! YES. . . ME!!!

Well what an amazing honor to have been chosen as the March, Craftster Crush!

I had just completed a couple swaps and have been focusing on my beadwork again lately and today a dear friend, Lesliehappyheart sent me a message congratulating me before I had even opened this month's newsletter!

I've always been crafty. I've always been more creative than anything else. I am the woman sitting in church doodling my next creation, because for some reason, when I sit there the ideas just start flowing!




I have ALWAYS worked hard at what I do and never really thought I was truly any good at it until this year! Within the last 12 months I have taken Honorable Mention at the San Diego County Fair for my beadwork, "Craftster Best Of" 2 years in a row, and my beaded necklace, "Midnight in the Garden" took FIRST PRIZE at the Annual Riverside County Date Festival!

This truly has been an AMAZING start to the year! I started off by saying I wasn't going to blog and post as much because I wanted to make sure I was putting my family first... and then it's like within 24 hours of posting that, things just changed! I have kept true to the not posting as much but only because the items I am now working on are taking much longer to finish than they used to!

I want to thank everyone out there who supports and enjoys my "craft"! Really if it wasn't for outlets like Facebook and Craftster and Blogger, I don't know if I would be making the quality items I am today! You all push me to try new things and to put more of myself into every piece of work I make! So thanks to all of you!!! Because without you wanting more I would not be here doing what I love today!

I did say I have some projects in the works and here is a sneak peek of just a "few" of them! I say few because in reality I always have about 3-4 in certain stages of completion and about 8-10 written out to be started!

This one to the left is a beaded necklace I am working on with free-form peyote stitch titled, "Waves of Grace." It's further along than this photo but I don't want to give it all away!! At least not until it's completed! I told my husband, "I don't think I will enter this into the fair this year." He asked why and my response was, "I just don't think it's impressive enough..." HA! What was I thinking?!

On the right is a 3-D beaded flower I just kind of "threw" together! It will be placed with more on a necklace that was an original design idea for the San Diego County Fair this year. I have more beaded flowers drawn out and waiting to be beaded, but I found that Madonna cameo above and well had to take a quick break from the garden!

This month I also have a wonderful custom order I will be working on for a friend! I will definitely be posting photos for that as well.

Please don't think I am putting my sewing machine away though! I have just bought fabrics to work on a Spring/Summer quilt for Abigail! And want to make custom pull-string pouches for each of these beaded creations!

THANK YOU!!!! (again!) Sometimes a little encouragement is all we need to be spurred on to greatness! I simply can't wait to share everything new with you soon!

From ATC to Wall Art...

I recently participated in a craft swap on Craftster and along with the "theme" crafted item, I had to send along one crafted "extra" item... My partner was very much into making Artist Trading Cards, or ATC's as they are commonly referred as (think baseball card sized art cards). I noticed she had drawn up quite a few and thought it would be neat if I could take this little baseball sized artwork and make it more into a wall hanging!

The picture on the left is what I ended up created from the picture on the right as my guide.

I thought I would go ahead and show you all today how this was made! I think is appears to be much harder than what it was but I just kept adding more!

Supplies:

• a picture like from an ATC with the background erased using a paint program and enlarged or shrunk down to the size of your liking
• a simple painting canvas
• scrapbook paper
• beads
• felt
• Tim Holtz Distress Ink pads 
• Tracing Paper
• Modge Podge or similar, and glue
• Felt tip pens

 So first I used a 12x12" piece of textured scrapbook paper and stamped on the Distress Ink. It doesn't have to be perfect! Just put on as much or as little as you would like. It adds dimension to the paper.

Then I simply glued the paper to the canvas frame... Simple enough so far...

 I then used a second piece of handmade paper and distressed it as well with the Distress ink and tore the paper and then burned the edges with a lighter and then glued that on top of the covered canvas. As you can see here I really just wanted it to have a rustic look and appeal... which it did!

For the next few steps you can just set this canvas aside because the bulk of the work is now going to be done on another piece of handmade style thin scrapbook paper.

Ok! Now to the exciting part! I took her small ATC and used a photo or paint program to enlarge it as well as to erase as much of the background as I could.... I am not into wasting printer ink... that darn stuff can be pricey especially in color!

So I just used a felt tip fine point pen to trace this lovely Victorian Woman onto the "feathery" thin scrapbook paper.

I broke her into three pieces, which I may have later regretted... one probably would have been fine...

I used just simple felt tip markers that I bought at the Dollar Store(!!!) to color her in and then used an exacto knife to cut her out.... I left a little room because again I singed her edges with a lighter in places.

Also in the drawing her hair and dress was adorned with pearls so I used a home decor weight thread and beaded right onto the paper securing my knots on the back with super glue.

I modge podged (or similar) her head and shoulder portion on first. You have to do a couple layers as the glue dries or else the paper will just start to become limp and destroyed.

I then added her beaded dress in the same manor.

So her dress and head were glued and I sat down with some felt and cut little flowers and again used Home Decor weight thread and a needle to sew the little flowers in place gluing down all my knots.

Just a note: you have to be very careful when attaching the felt and beads because when you run a needle through paper its not like fabric... so you can't repair if the hole tears or is in the wrong location... but this didn't really have too much rhyme or reason!

Be careful when cutting out this last piece or any beaded piece that you don't cut too close to any of the threads or holes...

This final piece I didn't singe because there was just too much detail to the headpiece. But again I carefully modge podged it into place and made sure all the little curls were glued down.

Finally I went over it all over again with the Distress ink to just put that final layer of "vintage" to it!

She came out better than I imagined! And you could do this with any picture! Even by adding a simple black and white photo to an ornate distressed background...

Here is the finished product! She is similar to that original drawing but has a twist all my own to it. My partner was very excited with it! Now you too can go off and create some three dimensional wall art and there isn't much to it! I'd love to see if you make anything in the same style!

Enjoy!

My Path to Finding My Birthmother, One Adopted Child's Story

My Husband (Adam), Daughter (Abigail, 2), and Myself

I know this blog is called “CraftyMamaBeads”, but today I actually don’t have anything crafty at all to post… Today I want to share a story. It’s my story and it’s actually more of a journey!

I have always known I was adopted. My parents never tried to hide anything from me. I grew up knowing only a small few bits of information that they had known and when I was little I can actually remember a time when I thought that all kids were adopted. Ha ha.

I never felt the need to try to locate my birth mother and in reality couldn’t admit to myself that maybe I was more afraid to find things out or be rejected than anything else. I always had the support from my parents that even if I wanted to know they were ok with that and were curious about her as well…

So now we turn to today… This year I turned the big 3-0… and now that I’m married with a daughter of my own the curiosity had returned. It seemed that lately I had been meeting people who were so amazed that I was adopted, but very freely said they couldn’t adopt someone else’s baby. Some just didn’t know how they could love a baby that wasn’t their own. I had never really heard that before. But maybe it was just because before I was young and naïve? I had always known it took a special person to give a baby to a deserving family, but now I was learning it took a special family to want another person’s baby.

This fall I was on a warpath promoting adoption and finally standing up for something I believed in with my whole heart. I wanted to educate a person on what to say and what not to say to someone who was adopted… That sometimes the way you say things to someone can make them feel like less than what they are, which by no small means is anything less than a MIRACLE!

Ok, so let me get off my soapbox and put it away… ha, ha! So back to how this becomes my story… In December I learned that there was a law in Illinois (where I was born) passed that would allow adopted children to request their original birth certificate. I prayed on it for a few days and then wrote a check for $15 to the state of Illinois and just this past Saturday it arrived in the mail.

I opened it very carefully, not really knowing what this would do to my life and how it could change two families. There typed from long ago was the name of my “angel.” I called my parents and both of us went straight to Google and typed in her name… in about 15 minutes I knew more than I ever had all thanks to Facebook!

Due to privacy settings I would have to “friend” her before I could send a message. I thought oh man I sure hope she will even if she has no clue who I am, maybe my picture will spark something in her… turns out she accept my request! She was online at the time I saw and thanks to my iPhone, I was shopping in Target when it all happened. I was shaking and my husband was saying we could just go home and finish the shopping later… I couldn’t move. The store was busy because it was a Saturday and I just stood in the middle of a busy aisle just in shock. When I came to I quickly sent her an instant message… I asked if she knew who I was. She replied rather quickly that I was just someone who asked to be her friend on Facebook. The next thing that I typed was going to change our lives… My response was

“I was born December 9, 1982 at Lutheran General Hospital and I have been waiting my entire life to thank you.”

That one sentence changed my life. Unless you’re adopted you never would think anything of that line above… But for those of us that are this is a powerful sentence. At some point in time we all dream about saying that. I wish I could have seen her face when it popped up on her screen!

I wish I could tell you or even myself how my life has changed since that moment. I never knew I needed that. I never knew what knowing would do to my life, but more importantly my heart. My heart feels as if it could explode. And the feeling hasn’t left since that moment. The moment it finally got completed. There are no missing pieces from my puzzle any longer.

I don’t know what the future will hold now. I don’t know what will happen over time. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. But the best part is I have my mom and dad to hold my hand every step of the way. They are such strong and caring people. They have always been there for me and were waiting to go through this step of life with me. We finally did it.

All of this happened in a matter of one weekend. And now Monday is here and it’s time to get back to normal life in our houses. I am cleaning the kitchen and my daughter is playing with the iPad, Adam (my hubby) is back at work after a weekend of laughing and crying together. But one thing has not changed and that is the feeling in my heart. I feel now my desire to speak out about being adopted is that much stronger. I did what I was so afraid to do… I risked the negatives and am so happy the positives out weighed my fears!

So no crafts today to show. No stories of quilting… just me being real today… So as always when I close a post…

Enjoy!

New Year, New "Strength", New Prayer

This is a Prayer Flag. The concept was started through this site, The Prayer Flag Project. The idea is that you create this 5x8 inch flag that is then hung outdoors. As the flag slowly deteriorates it then releases your prayer into the world... Maybe not necessarily my cup of tea, but I do love the concept. You are creating it with a prayer included! I have created other flags, but as a friend said, "You can see the prayer in this flag..." (Big Thank You to Leslie!)

This flag in particular was made for a Craftster swap. My partner had the idea of the main word and the butterfly and the verses... 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17... I came up with how I displayed it and incorporated her desires into the flag. This time I wanted to try some new things and I truly wanted to incorporate a prayer into this flag. And this is the creation that came to me!

The writing was done with a permanent micron pen on just bits of scrap fabric. As I wrote them they were a great reminder to myself!

 The butterfly itself was a piece of thin handmade scrapbook paper I had found at Joann's... so maybe not actually handmade but that same look. If you look real close to the right you can see some of the fibers...

I actually just used felt tip markers I bought at the 99 Cent Store to color the butterfly! I used a charcoal instead of deep black and three shades of orange with a hint of deep yellow. The markers just bled so perfectly on the paper that my shading was almost professional! Ha, Ha. I will definitely be using this technique again!

 The word "Strength" was painted on a piece of vinyl and cut and sewn on very last! I used the same paper as the butterfly to create a sort of 3D cocoon for the butterfly and had already attached the "twig" so that there was really no way to display the word without hiding something... So a remnant purchase of vinyl from Joann's came in handy...

The fabric in front of the burlap was just scraps sewn together with no method... And then everything was sewn on top of that.

  The pom-pom fringe was an afterthought and luckily I didn't stitch the fabric at the edge so I could still sandwich the fringe between the burlap and the fabric.

The burlap was a craft all of its own! I bought almost an ivory/cream colored burlap and dyed it with coffee, tea, and distressed inks. It was then frayed and the edges burned with a lighter... just a note that I don't recommend doing that... Burlap is hard to blow out.... the embers can continue to burn. I did this over a sink with running water and barely singed the edges! But after it looks just perfect.

Of course my flag would not last too long outdoors with the paper and marker... but I put a prayer in every stitch! I hope my partner enjoys this flag.... and is blessed with the prayers that were placed into it!

Enjoy!